Section 3: Your Self-Identity
Past attachments can influence present day actions.
Holding on to past attachments can prevent you from exploring a new world of possibility. They can weigh you down or blindfold you from seeing all the opportunities available.
One of the first things you learn in the military is the importance of teamwork. Whether in boot camp, deployments, or daily work, mission success requires a collective team effort.
Shared experiences and common goals create a strong attachment to the team and mission. The more time you spend with a team or organization, the stronger that attachment becomes.
When it’s time to move teams, jobs, or companies, it can be difficult letting go. Attachments to the past can create resistance to change and accepting new ways of doing things. We start comparing everything to the "good ol' days."
As you begin your next chapter, consider how the past is influencing your present.
Are you the same person you were in the military?
Do you feel like your authentic self?
How is your past influencing who you are today, or who you're working to become?
Who you were in the military served the goals, purpose, and needs at the time. Have those goals and needs changes? It's okay to keep the parts that make you a better person and discard those that no longer serve you.
For an exercise, compare who you were before the military to who you are today. They're likely two very different people. You had to adapt and evolve to fit your environment. This adjustment is a continual process throughout life.
As you work to define your future self, consider how the following influence your current identity:
Branch of Service:
Each branch fosters a different level of esprit de corps. Some are stronger than others.
Is your identity tied to your branch of service? If so, how strong is that connection?
Rank:
How strongly does your rank influence your way of thinking, ego, status, and expectations of others?
Military Job:
Is your identity strongly connected to your job?
Do you see yourself more as a Medic, Infantryman, Aviator, or Family Readiness Leader than an individual?
Skills:
Do the skills you learned play a role in who you want to become?
Are those skills transferable? Are you willing to learn new skills?
Is there self-doubt in thinking you can’t learn new skills or don't have anything to offer employers?
Team:
The longer you remain on a team, the stronger that bond becomes.
Connections to team members, the mission, and shared experiences reinforce these bonds.
Teams create responsibility, commitment, and accountability to others.
How does the team influence who you are as an individual?
Length of Service:
The longer you're in the military, the more likely it is to make up part of your identity.
How do you see yourself outside of the uniform?
Which aspects of the military do you want to keep after leaving the service? Which do you want to remove?
There are pros and cons to a strong attachment to your job, title, company and team.
On the upside, you become a high-performing employee dedicated to the team and mission, which organizations value. On the downside, it can create a loss of identity when it's time to move on to your next chapter.
Is it any wonder why people feel lost after leaving the military?
After years of fitting a certain culture and environment, you’re suddenly in new and unfamiliar territory.
The connections and attachments you cherished make you miss that part of your life.
Attaching your self-identity to external influences can create friction when it's time for something new. It becomes a challenge to answer, "Who am I now?"
Spend time to ponder how past attachments influence who you are today. Determine which ones are beneficial to your future and which ones could potentially hold you back.
Clarifying these will help to create the best version of your future self.