Section 3: Your Self-Identity
Leaving the military can create profound feelings of loss.
These can include your job, title, job responsibilities, team, mission, friends, sense of meaning, purpose, structure, and daily routine.
Masked by the excitement of something new, you may not immediately realize loss. This is especially true during the initial weeks and months of leaving the military.
You may be so excited at the thought of no longer waking up a 5am for morning PT or having to do gear layouts that you don’t acknowledge the changes that have taken place.
As the excitement resides, loss becomes more apparent. Loss creates a void. Until those voids are replaced with something new, it can create feelings of uncertainty, fear, and disorientation.
Your self-identity is often tied to many things that are lost. The void it creates can leave you with more questions than answers.
Who are you now that you aren’t Staff Sergeant Jones or Captain Garcia?
Now that you’re no longer an Infantryman or Supply Specialist?
Now that you don’t lead a battalion of Soldiers?
It can be unsettling when those identifiers are removed, particularly when there was a strong attachment to them. Losing them can leave you questioning who you are.
What defines you in their absence? These are the areas you must focus on to replace with something new.
Before we discuss how to rebuild your identity and fill the voids, it's important to discuss past attachments and how they can delay or prevent you from redefining your identity.